Lauren B. Lentini

Jerald has a fever. And chills. And a headache. And a cough. And if you haven’t been hiding under a rock, you might think you know where this story is heading. We certainly thought we did, or at least we needed to act like we did.

So for the 9 days between when he took his COVID test and he went to the ER to find out he has mono, we lived under quarantine conditions. He stayed locked in our bedroom, while I moved into the guest room and Jordan’s bathroom. I took 100% responsibility for Jordan’s care, family meals, and household maintenance. We masked up any time I went farther into the room than necessary to drop off a plate of food (or cup of coffee, natch). When Jordan spiked a fever, I rushed him to the pediatric urgent care to get him tested. I monitored my own temperature obsessively.

It was absolutely terrifying, and very, very stressful. I’m so relieved that it turned out to be anything but the coronavirus that I can’t bring myself to worry too much that it’s still a pretty bad diagnosis, especially for an adult. (We’ll wait until he feels better to have a conversation about who he’s been kissing. I kid, I kid.)

During the interminable wait, I retraced every step we’ve taken, regretting them all. Was he exposed during our weekend in the Cape, our biggest lapse in social-distancing judgment, or did this happen on a routine trip to the grocery store, mask on and hand sanitizer at the ready? The memes aimed at anti-maskers make it sound so effortless to protect yourself, but our best precautions don’t make us invulnerable. That one time I pushed up my glasses after opening a door might have spelled disaster. Fortunately, that’s not what happened, but it could have been. I have a renewed sensibility for how dangerous the world is right now.

In related news, we definitely won’t be having a birthday party for Jordan next week. He’s too young to understand what his birthday is, but I’m still sad that we won’t be able to fête him properly. I hate all the ways we aren’t able to give him a normal childhood because of all this.

In a fit of unfounded optimism a few months back, I saved a lot of Beat Bugs party ideas on Pinterest. (For the uninitiated, Beat Bugs is an Australian cartoon on Netflix in which the bugs sing Beatles songs, and Jordan is obsessed.) So my pins don’t go completely to waste, you’re all invited to my virtual Jordan’s 2nd Beat Bugs birthday party!

Come on in! I hope you appreciate all the effort I put into decorating.

Have a leaf cake. I made them from scratch. They’re delicious and vegetarian.

Later on, Jordan will try to blow out his candles and we’ll all enjoy some birthday cake.

Thank you for coming! Don’t forget your party favors when you leave!

OK, that was silly but kind of satisfying. I wish all of you could be here with us and shower him with love. Hit me with your best ideas for ways to make my little one feel extra-special, considering that his Dada is only up for a few minutes of light activity at a time.