Lauren B. Lentini

Welcome to a new year, folks. And welcome to the official start of my blog. (Did you like my soft opening?) As is the custom, it’s time to reflect on the past and muse on new resolutions.

I don’t expect 2019 can compare in eventfulness with 2018, at least I hope not. This time last year, I was just coming to grips with the new life forming inside me. I’d gone for a routine gynecological visit in late November and found out I was pregnant. The disbelief phase would last through the new year, even as we showed my parents the “Your Christmas present is on layaway until August 2018” onesie that didn’t arrive in time to go in the mail. I chose the word “Grow” as my word of the year, a private joke shared with the person sharing everything else with me. And he did grow, and make his presence known and undeniable, and eventually make his entrance unforgettable. I’m looking forward to nothing in 2019 so much as continuing to watch him grow.

Now I’m struggling with my own growth from 2018, physically speaking. The baby weight did not just magically disappear as I wished it away. So I’m making the most cliché of resolutions this year: weight loss. Or, to make it a SMART goal: I will lose 40 pounds in 2019.

I spent a lot of time reflecting (agonizing) over how I’m going to do this and actually have it work this time. I googled “2019 goal setting” and went to the first link that looked interesting: Lara Casey. I shelved my skepticism and followed along with each step in good faith. I already knew what my goal would be, but I did learn some things along the way. The step I struggled with most was choosing my word for the year. I couldn’t decide between “Active” and “Tenacity.” Then I read this. And, just like that, my 2019 word for the year became “Depth.”

That article might not scream weight-loss to you, but what resonated with me was this: I already have the tools I need. I had been grappling with the fact that follow-through is my biggest weak point, hence “Tenacity” making the word list. But I was still looking for something new–scouring the internet, researching Whole30 and other new-to-me diet plans that might finally, finally hold the key to making me stick with it. With a depth mindset, I’m going to focus instead on digging deeper into what I have. Blogs I already follow, books I already own, links I’ve already pinned, apps I’ve already downloaded. And I’m going to focus on each habit change for a whole month.

I’m not going to decide everything right now and set myself up for failure. I have some ideas, like going for a walk every night once it gets warmer and there are still daylight hours after work. For January, starting relatively small, I’m going to focus on cooking dinner.

I rediscovered a list of recipes with 5 ingredients or less on Greatist. Starting with the super-easy pan-seared soy sauce and black pepper tofu I made tonight to go with the traditional collard greens and black-eyed peas, I’m going to make a recipe from this list every weeknight for the month of January. They’re not diet recipes or anything like that…just good, wholesome, real food. The primary goal this month, rather than shedding pounds, is to boost my own confidence, to prove to myself that I can be the primary cook in the household. This is harder for me than it might sound.

I’ll report back on my progress, and add more details as my plan takes shape. (Right now, I think February’s habit will be taking my lunch to work, but that could always change.) I’m making this journey public for some accountability, and I appreciate any encouragement, tips, or easy recipes you might have for me. I hope you’ll read that article on depth and comment on any insights you take from it. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.