Lauren B. Lentini

I’m really anxious about COVID-19, y’all. Don’t try to talk me out of it. I wish I hadn’t read Station Eleven so recently.

I like to think I was worried about the coronavirus before it was cool, because my company’s conference in Bangkok was #canceled last month. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I got a head start. The coronavirus has been a big deal in my company, because we support school websites — including many in Asia — and communication and online learning are obviously important as these schools are closing.

I’m surprised my office hasn’t closed yet, because we’re all quite capable of working remotely, but we’re only doing a “practice drill” with everyone working from home on Monday. Jerald’s office closed Friday, and even the courts are drastically reducing operations.

Jerald and I had our own “practice drill” of WFH together on Friday, and I quickly learned that we’re going to have to separate if we intend to survive this. I spent some time cleaning up my basement office, even rearranging my bulletin board so I’d have pretty things to look at (and a nice backdrop for video calls). I incorporated some of my watercolors, which are by no stretch of the imagination good but still make me smile. And I added some old pictures of Jordan, because I haven’t printed any photos since his first birthday.

Speaking of Jordan, his daycare for now is staying open, and our plan for now is to keep taking him. We worked it out that Jerald will drop him off in the mornings, because he gets a later start than I do, and I’ll pick him up in the evenings. We’re hoping to give him a sense of normalcy for as long as possible (and preserve our sanity as we attempt to work), but I’m wondering whether it’s really responsible. We received an email from the center outlining steps they plan to take, such as checking temps on everyone who enters and not allowing parents inside the classrooms—but none of those measures were in place when I picked him up on Friday. If they’re not doing it on Monday, I doubt we’ll send him on Tuesday.

Keeping Jordan at home with us is high on my list of concerns right now. He has a fantastic daycare, where he gets to have creative and sensory experiences, play outside, interact with friends, eat healthy and varied meals, and get plenty of stimulation and attention. For that reason, I haven’t historically worried if his time with us evenings/weekends is a little bit on the boring side—maybe too many cheese sticks, maybe a little too much screen time. What are we going to do when daycare isn’t an option, especially when we’re trying to WFH and parent at the same time? He’s been a major fuss today, too, as if to emphasize that this is going to be difficult.

Much of my worry comes from binging too much news and social media. I’ve read all the articles about protecting your mental health during the crisis, and every single one tells me to step away from the Facebook, but I can’t help myself. Uncertainty doesn’t go well with my anxiety disorder, and we’re surrounded by so much of it that I’m soaking up all the “information” I can find. I’ve been monitoring the mood on my feed based on the memes being shared, watched it transition from hand-washing to hoarding toilet paper to social distancing and #flatteningthecurve. The tone shift has been noteworthy.

We went driving around on back roads this afternoon, to consciously get ourselves out of the house without being around people. And procure the only essential we’re stocking up on, beer from the local brewery. #LabyrinthBrewingCompany

Social distancing is kind of our norm, so this hasn’t changed our lives much yet. We’re content to sit around blowing bubbles for Jordan and listening to him repeat his new favorite word. But it very much feels like we’re at the beginning of something significant, something worth documenting and looking back on when we — god willing — reach the other side. My biggest hope is that this will be nothing more than a larf in my Facebook memories a year from now. But just in case, consider this my first contribution to the #historicalrecord.

#COVID19 #preludetogodknowswhat #hashtagabuse